TED TALKS: WATCH THESE TO BE A SMARTER, HAPPIER COUPLE
Geniuses synthesizing their life’s work into a less-than-20-minute lecture we can watch while folding laundry? Who doesn’t love a TED Talk? Slipped between the presentations on “Mathmagics,” Neuroscience, Creativity, and How to Hold Your Breath for 17 Minutes, are a handful of wise love-and-relationships talks that would be good for almost any couple to view together. May your marriage be all the awesomer:
- “The Power of Vulnerability” by Brene Brown
Social scientist Brene Brown just might save all our relationships. Her powerful talk on the nature of vulnerability walks us through her research about how shame and fear are serious relationship-killers. The happy ending? By being open, honest, and vulnerable with our partners we can overcome our weaknesses and help our partnerships thrive.
- “The Secret to Desire in a Long-Term Relationship” by Esther Perel
Psychotherapist Esther Perel begins her TED talk by asking her audience the classic conundrum, “Why does good sex so often fade, even for couples who continue to love each other as much as ever?” She then explains how we try to balance our often-conflicting needs (security vs. surprise) and explores how to keep things hot in a monogamous relationship.
3. “Dare to Disagree” by Margaret Heffernan
Entrepreneur/writer Heffernan argues the secret to good relationships is, well, arguing. Be it in professional or personal relationships, Heffernan believes that we need to have “partners who aren’t echo chambers” if we are committed to being our true selves and living fully.
4. “An Ode to Envy” by Parul Sehgal
Jealousy is an ugly part of many relationships. We may envy our partner’s strengths and accomplishments, and we can certainly be jealous if our partner looks like they are even remotely attracted to someone else. In this enlightening talk, literary critic Sehgal looks to great literature to get to the heart of why we envy others, what we can learn from it, and ultimately, how to put the kibosh on this particular brand of negativity.
5. “How to Practice Emotional First Aid” by Guy Winch
Have you been trying to get your spouse into therapy for years? Has he or she been trying to get YOU into therapy for years? There are all sorts of reasons people resist seeking treatment, and in this talk, psychologist Guy Winch makes an A-plus argument about treating psychological health as seriously as we do physical healthy.